This train service is calling at: Pain, the next stop is Pain.
Life is nothing but suffering according to the beliefs of Buddhist monks. I agree with them; suffering and pain is the price we pay for sentience and self awareness. We are aware of the truth, we are aware of the suffering we can bring among ourselves and for others, we are aware of the outcomes of our decisions.
Mythology from all manner of civilisations use suffering as the basis of all of their stories. The great legends all faced punishment, endured against the odds, suffered the pain and hardship in their battles against evil, and eventually won – but often at a cost. Horus lost his eyes in the battle against Set, Odin tore out his own eye to be able to drink from the fountain of knowledge, and Kingu was sacrificed to create the blood of man.
When we look at the harsh reality that is our life, we deal with everyday struggles be them large or small. The pain of DOMS after a heavy workout session, the pain of your IBD, the pain of heartbreak, the loss of someone beloved, the pain of loneliness. Nobody is immune from the suffering of life, many have it worse than others for certain, but when you walk down the street and you pass the sea of people around you, each of them has suffered or is suffering from the pain of life. I have had my own battles with my IBD, the physical pain so intense it would leave me in tears for hours on end, the feeling of watching your health decline before your own eyes, the struggle to even do the most basic tasks without physical pain, the mental pain of continuing to go to work every day delivering on stressful projects whilst all of this is looming over me.
In these moments you have two options:
- Build resilience and continue
- Succumb to the pain and submit
I took the first option despite everything being against me, I could have accepted defeat at any point, I could have taken the easy option to give me comfort but I decided against it.
Why?
The choice you make can determine your entire outlook on life, and the way you deal with future problems. If you choose to continue down the path despite the pain and suffering, each step becomes a little easier. With each step, you build the resilience to continue moving forward and upwards in the world. Although a cheesy quote: “Pain is temporary, glory is eternal” rings true here. When I took up boxing the first few months were absolutely brutal, my coach did not go easy on me. I was pushed to my limits every week to the point I would have to lie down on the sofa for an hour after I got back in. In those hour sessions, I wanted to quit, I watched the clock, I prayed in my head for time to move faster so I could take a break. But thanks to my coach’s persistence and my own determination to do well, each workout got a little easier. My physical resilience increased astronomically to a level of fitness that I couldn’t believe I could achieve, but my mental resilience took a lot longer to push as I was still stuck to my old limits when I wasn’t used to being so fit and I would stop even though I know I could carry on. With each round I made sure I could do the extra few moves in the drill before I stopped to catch my breath. Eventually I was stunned at my own progress that I could keep going without needing so many rest breaks.
For me choosing to succumb to the pain and stop would mean I couldn’t achieve the level of fitness I have today, something which I am highly grateful from coach Serge. But it has helped me in other aspects of my life too, physically I could do more DIY and for longer. Tasks became much easier. At work I was more willing to have the hard conversations, to challenge people, and to deal with criticism. It gave me the resilience to take more risks and challenges, ultimately starting my own business.
For me it has been about accepting the pain of discipline rather than the pain of regret.
Until next time
Faz